Healing With Faith

HEALING WITH FAITH 

Chelsea Gutierrez

 

I believe in the almighty truth that one must have faith in something higher and more powerful than them. I believe that this being, animal, God, deity, or whatever you call it must be a symbolic image for you and inspire awe and admiration. We should have a sense of religion and belonging in our mind and soul.

            However, I am not enforcing one religion upon another. I’m not advertising a church, nor preaching the words of a heaven, but simply stating that without a sense of having a higher purpose, one human, with such a gifted mind and creative thought process, will find that they are alone and belittled in the world. Without that higher spiritual sense, fear, evil, pain and hatred have all the opportunity to consume individuals and replace their nature with that of a cold frozen piece of ice. Life is not worth living if you believe that what you have seen, loved, and accomplished is for nothing and will never flourish to be grander than it already is. Life would not be worth dying for if it was simply a coincidental explosion of the universe, with a few interesting respirating, digesting outcomes. It is not holy and sacred if it is constantly slaughtered in the streets of poor towns. It is not meaningful if it is lived with a cold heart; one that does not offer kindness, respect, and most importantly love.

            As a Catholic, I have always grown up with this envelope of love around my schooling and family. I may have not understood half the things said at mass, or why we say the words “Amen,” or even why we must dip our fingers in holy water at the entrance of the church; yet one concept that left me in awe was the priest’s manner in speaking of kindness and love, and the emotion that would well up inside him like water pressuring a dam.

On one particular instance, he spoke of the love shown to him by complete strangers of Italy and the helping hand of foreigners that strengthened his belief of a universal family in the church. He spoke of his travels to monasteries where he was greeted silently by monks, yet even in their silence he felt welcoming warmth coming from their hearts that invited him in for nourishment and protection.

            I left mass that morning pondering if other religions where based on the same foundations of respect for life, family, and love of one another. The answer is of course that they are because ‘true religion’ is the unity of people in a loving and sacred manner; with the exception of extremists groups whose beliefs are guided more towards hatred and greed. These individuals form cults, not religions.

            I grew up with a dear friend of mine, DJ, who was about a year younger than me, but in the same grade level. We were of similar but slightly different faiths; I Catholic and she Christian. We were very close and would sometimes attend each other’s churches since the doctrines were so similar. It was unfortunate, however, when her parents divorced and began the downward spiral of raising her in a constantly changing household, changing step-parents, new children, and new environments for schools and churches. When she moved away, we still spoke but I heard nothing of how her school and faith were developing. It wasn’t until I was 17 that I received a phone call from her with an ecstatic tone in her voice, which often frightens me because she is known to have extreme ideas and schemes floating around in her head (like the one time she tried to use a moving car as a “surfboard”).

She had called to tell me she was marrying a 22 year old high school dropout.

            It wasn’t until DJ and I met and spoke of the major step she was about to take at such a young age that I had found out she no longer attended church, slept with many men at a time, did drugs heavily, dropped out of high school and had yet to obtain her GED. She was a wreck, and I had such pity for her, I couldn’t help it. I asked her why she was doing this, and her reply was that she was lonely in the world. I yelled and we fought for about 20 minutes until she had given up making me see her situation through her eyes. I was left with nothing to do but watch her marry some guy I barely knew. How did I know he was going to treat her with respect and dignity? How could I be sure that we would both grow up happily married with kids who could play together? I couldn’t know for certain.

It was then the next Sunday that I banged on her house door, received no answer, and let myself in. Her step-family was still asleep, so I went to her room and dragged her ass out of bed. She thought I was psychotic and had come to kill her for what she was doing. It was quite comical now that I reflect on it. Ten minutes later without brushing teeth or combing hair, I stuffed her in my car and drove her to my catholic church. As we entered in silence I thought to myself, “Am I doing the right thing here God? I have brought you someone in desperate need of guidance and assistance.” We got down our knees at a pew and prayed. She prayed, and prayed, and prayed to the point that I thought she fell asleep with her hands openly cupping her bowed down head.  As she lifted her face, I could see the presence of tears on her cheeks, but did not say a word. I didn’t want to embarrass her.

The priest began his homily. He was discussing the Psalm 119:176. It began as “I have wandered away like a lost sheep; come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.” The priest spoke of being brothers and sisters to one another and lifting us up as we fall along this journey of life. It must have made such an impact on her, yet she sat in silence. Not a sound of pain or anger left her body.

DJ ended up calling off her engagement, not because I didn’t like the guy or because of what her family thought about getting married so young, but because she felt she’s been replacing her need for a strong family connection with outsiders and strangers. The choices she’s made will never be removed from the tablet of her life but at least now she can continue forward, with eyes open and the knowledge that she has true friends and true religion to guide her to make healthy choices that will bring happiness in her life.

The role of religion is one that cannot be substituted by sex, drugs, or living on the free, wild side of life. It is intertwined with how we envision ourselves and the people around us. It is the pillow to rest your head on at night after a long day of sweat, frustration, and pain. It can bring people of all backgrounds and ambitions together, and no matter what anyone argues, I know this: having faith is the only way to live this human life with the inner peace and tranquility that brings us happiness and joy. DJ has taught me that lesson and affirmed my belief, that without faith, the world is simply a cruel, weighted survival. However, with faith in your heart and soul, there are no boundaries to the joy, peace, happiness, hope, and love that can be spread between one another and awaited for after we pass away.