Big Little Brother

BIG LITTLE BROTHER

Francisco Trujillo 

I believe in the unconditional bond of brotherhood. This unique bond shared by true siblings is unlike any emotional bond made between humans. For reasons unexplained and origins unknown the relationship developed by siblings, in my case brothers, stems from a natural emotional connection that, once made, can never be severed. The process of becoming functional siblings, in many ways, is a conjoined effort by all involved.  It is not accurate to assume that the oldest brother sets the example and is followed suit by the younger siblings. Personally, I find myself learning how to be a better brother and, even more amazingly, a more conscientious person by studying my younger brother Chris.

In 1994, my little brother was brought into the world. Due to birth complications he suffered brain damage and is now mentally handicapped. His handicap has decreased his motor skills and brain function so that his learning process is drastically slower than normal, making him unable to properly absorb information.  However, for these sixteen years it has not occurred to me to sob or mourn for his condition. Not for one second have I wished for a “normal” little brother or wonder what it would be like to have one. I have always considered him normal to begin with. There have never been any boundaries that prevent us from having a functional and healthy sibling relationship. Although his disability has obstructed him from many educational opportunities, it has not put a damper on his lively sensibilities of recreation. I constantly help him with homework, sports, and (most recently) even give him advice on girls.

Being the oldest of three brothers it is normally my task to set the example in the house. Interestingly enough, I find myself looking to my younger brother Chris and finding myself amazed that I am actually following his example on how to be a better person.

Living around him has actually influenced my behavior. I find myself adjusting my language and physical behavior simply to set a better example for him. In turn, this behavioral change transfers over to social life outside my house and Chris’s company. He has inspired me to have more patience when I am struggling with any sort of task or social interaction with a frustrating person. He has shown me that no matter who you are or what ailments or disabilities someone has that there is always room for growth as a person. But, I think the most inspiring quality about him is his ability to forgive and continue offering unconditional love to whomever so desires it. The ability to unconditionally forgive someone has been the most sublime gift I have been taught by him. It has allowed me grow emotionally with my friends and family knowing that, through the God given gift of forgiveness, any error can be absolved and forgotten and become water under the bridge.

Many years ago when I was about eleven and Chris was seven, Chris suffered a concussion due to my misguided sense of playful aggression. We were in my somewhat spacious room roughhousing, as my mom used to call it, playing around with each other as normal brothers do: soft pushing, torturous tickling and in this unfortunate case throwing things at each other. As the rough housing finally escalated to the point of sweat, laughter and misjudgment, the events became slightly competitive. As Chris began to pick up some goose-down pillows with zipper cases and silk sheets I reached for the nearest throwable object in the vicinity; a sleeping bag. We both exchanged throws but unfortunately Chris in his small almost four foot forty-five pound body could not take the momentum of the eight pound burgundy sleeping bag, and was smashed head first into the adjacent wall in between the dresser and closet door. As the object was in flight I could see the repercussions of my actions unfolding before my eyes; he is going to get hurt and I am going to be grounded or worse. In an act of cowardice I played it off as if nothing had happened as did Chris, to my amazement.  But, inevitably, he began to vomit and was hurriedly rushed to the hospital to receive treatment. I only remember waiting in the car, like a dog with its tail between its legs, sincerely praying, offering any act of contrition to allow Chris to be alright. All I could think was how such a juvenile act could endanger my loving little brother’s life and my parents’ view of me. As I went into the hospital room crying to apologize to my little brother he weakly smiled at me and said “I love you Frankie.” My subtle sobs of fear suddenly turned into drowning tears of guilt and thankfulness as I embraced my younger brother knowing that I had just witnessed the unconditional bond of brotherhood.

It is not enough to say that Chris’s inspiration has taught me well or motivate me for just this one aspect of my life. Becoming a better brother is an ongoing process from which I learn everyday and become a better person by learning from Chris’s example. Everyone has the ability to be “good brother,” a source of pure inspiration for someone dear to you. It is the driving force for all of my actions; the guidelines to my set of values that will allow me to amount to my fullest potential in all aspects of my life.