Fate

FATE

Anonymous

          A young blonde-haired girl in a striped green shirt and baggy jeans stands in the middle of an empty street that looks like it came straight from a scary movie. She looks out into the horizon. All she sees is that solitary road that looks so hot you could fry an egg on it. She smells the summer heat and practically tastes the asphalt that’s under her feet. She hears the sound of birds chirping in the distance and the thoughts that swarm her head.  She looks out and sees her life before her.  She sees the grass at her side and thinks about how she cannot control anything that could occur in her life from here on out.

Serendipity, fate, fortune, chance, destiny… does it all really exist?  Can certain events in our life be altered, or do they simply have to happen?  By definition fate is inevitable, it is predetermined, and it is unavoidable.  I believe that life has certain proceedings in store for us that cannot be changed. I trust that there is a higher power that decides and arranges these occurrences and I identify this higher power as God. Although I believe that certain events are pre-planned and we cannot change the course of them, I also believe that we have choices to react as we wish and that we do have the power to make our own decisions. These decisions we make are based on our destiny and occasions we cannot control.

A year and a half ago, on December 11, 2006, my grandmother passed away of a heart attack. Her death was quick and painless for her, but destructive and harsh for my family. A month before her sudden and unexpected death, she went through an agonizing knee surgery because she had very severe arthritis and degenerative joint disease that kept her from walking without pain. She decided to go through with the surgery because she couldn’t take the pain any more and it was restricting her from her daily routine. Her doctor informed her that although the surgery was very painful the success rate was high. He told her that the surgery could take a toll on her because of her age, but it would leave her knees as good as new. She had the surgery on November 6, 2006, which ironically also happened to be her 84^th birthday. Two days before my grandma’s surgery, my Aunt Margarita flew in form California to visit and look after her mother during this excruciating procedure she was about to experience. My aunt did not have many opportunities to visit with my grandmother due to the distance, and another factor was the difficulty my grandmother ran into whenever she flew to California because of her handicapped knees. When my aunt arrived it was apparent in my grandmother’s smile that she was at ease knowing that she would have her two daughters with her during her operation. My grandmother was extremely nervous about the pain she knew she would experience and it really helped her to know she was surrounded by her loved ones.

After my grandmother had her surgery, she underwent physical therapy sessions; it was devastating to watch. The pain my grandmother felt was visible to everyone around her. I had never heard my grandmother complain. I assumed that the pain was unbearable because for once she did complain. I remember feeling sad for her and wanting time to pass so that she could get over the hurting. If she could get passed all this ache she could go on to living the life she had longed for since the arthritis had attacked her.  After two weeks in therapy, she began to feel significantly better, she began to cheer up, and the recovery was apparent. She was nowhere near her goal, but we all knew she’d get there fast because of her strong will.

A month later we were devastated; my grandmother had passed away;  It was two in the morning when the phone rang, my grandmother wasn’t feeling well. We rushed to her house, but it was too late, she had already passed away. The shock was overwhelming, we couldn’t understand what had happened. She was almost fully recovered from her surgery and was in good health. The questions arose and we began to ask ourselves why she had to go through that painful surgery and why she had to go through so much anguish. We couldn’t understand why God would have her go through all this misery to take her in the end. She never even had the chance to walk and recover fully like she had envisioned.

As I took in the horrible loss and the many questions that ran through my mind, I decided that there had to be a reason for that surgery and that God would never do something without having an explanation for it. After thinking for a few hours, I realized that the surgery did have a reason and it was a good one. The surgery was a way for my aunt to see my grandmother one last time before she was gone. The time that my aunt was able to spend with my grandmother gave her a chance to enjoy her mother one last time and a chance to say goodbye. I realize that God had all of this planned and that it couldn’t be changed. At this point there was nothing we could do about it and although it was sad, this thought seemed to put my mind at ease and made me find the logic in the somewhat illogical situation. 

My aunt made a decision.  She could have made many different choices and still, my grandmother’s fate would have been the same. My aunt could have chosen to come after my grandmother had recuperated or she could have chosen to not come at all. I believe the surgery was an event that put my aunt in a situation where she had to make a choice. The decision she made was of her own free will. I’m positive that my aunt feels at peace with her choice and with the opportunity God put in her path. My aunt was able to spend time with her mother during the last few weeks of her life. Her visit brought my grandmother happiness; it gave her the opportunity to enjoy the company of both her daughters, which happened in very rare occasions. The events that took place were not fate, they were mere choices made by people when encountered with destiny. Fate works in rare ways, ways that I will never be able to understand, and ways I will never be able to explain, but the truth is that fate surrounds us everyday – we just underestimate it more than we should.